Have you ever wondered?

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Have you ever wondered?

Postby hammerdown7 » Fri Oct 11, 2013 9:48 am

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'...
But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'?
Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put
wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it
still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and
then put money in binoculars to look at things
on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can
make a radio out of a coconut, why
can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while
Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to
buy all that ACME crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable
oil is made from vegetables, what is
baby oil made from?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's
outside the hemisphere, but call it a
hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there isn't enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for
death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses
aren't on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the
refrigerator with hopes that something
new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from
the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those
enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house
as warm as it was in summer when we
complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE...
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of ment al illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
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Re: Have you ever wondered?

Postby T-FATTY » Fri Oct 11, 2013 5:30 pm

JUMBO shrimp.
YES I accept paypal donations...
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Re: Have you ever wondered?

Postby marco_1978_spyder » Fri Oct 11, 2013 8:40 pm

hammerdown7 wrote:If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?


Good ones for sure.

In 4th grade...@9 or 10years, my family moved to the edge of town and the school I switched to there was pretty rural compared to the urban one I'd been going to.

The new music class sang this song.. and I'd never heard of it until that day... I didn't know what they were all singing, and I wasn't good with lyric's...I always mishear them.

As a young wise-guy I'd never heard of 'cracked' corn so I could only think that I was hearing 100 kids chorusing.. "Jimmy 'Crapped' corn and I don't care.. I can remember a feeling of shock, disbelief and hysterical laughter all at once. I couldn't sing along. I didn't think we were that far out into the wood's...lol..or were we?? and who was Jimmy? why were we picking on him this bad??? what a confusing day that was. Of course eventually I made some friends and was schooled on what the lyric's were.
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Re: Have you ever wondered?

Postby rpoz-29 » Fri Oct 11, 2013 10:41 pm

Waaaaay too much time on your hands, Hammerdown! Why did Kamikazi pilots wear helmets? To dull the pain?
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Re: Have you ever wondered?

Postby hammerdown7 » Sat Oct 12, 2013 7:28 am

rpoz-29 wrote:Waaaaay too much time on your hands, Hammerdown! Why did Kamikazi pilots wear helmets? To dull the pain?


Not my list Bill, just passing it along.

Marco, your first take on the song makes more sense than the actual one.

Dick
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Re: Have you ever wondered?

Postby zeke » Sun Oct 20, 2013 12:12 pm

When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

Why do guys have nipples?
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Re: Have you ever wondered?

Postby monzabug350 » Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:45 am

Why do we park in a drive way and drive on a parkway??
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Re: Have you ever wondered?

Postby Sunula66 » Tue Nov 05, 2013 12:29 am

:th: :lol: ...and Why, oh WHY!! can't they build Aircraft out of the same virtually "indestructible" material that the "black-box" is made of...(.better yet, why haven't they developed that "cable-fastened" parachute thingy to aircraft yet??!!!!).. oh and one more...."affordable luxury"....right..... :lol :rolleyes: :
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Re: Have you ever wondered?

Postby monzabug350 » Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:49 pm

When Hugh Heffner dies.....will he really go to a better place ??
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Re: Have you ever wondered?

Postby Monza Harry » Thu Nov 21, 2013 11:23 pm

The only place better for the Hef would look the same but be quieter (selectable mute control) :lol: Harry
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Re: Have you ever wondered?

Postby monzabug350 » Fri Nov 22, 2013 5:25 pm

Why do some people wash dishes and then put them in the dishwasher?
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Re: Have you ever wondered?

Postby garysol1 » Fri Nov 22, 2013 7:03 pm

monzabug350 wrote:Why do some people wash dishes and then put them in the dishwasher?


Why does my wife wash disposable cups? If your going to wash them may as well use the real stuff.
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Re: Have you ever wondered?

Postby monzabug350 » Mon Dec 23, 2013 10:22 pm

Why do they put brail (?) on the buttons on vending machines with a big window so you can see whats inside??
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Re: Have you ever wondered?

Postby Sunula66 » Sun Dec 29, 2013 1:30 pm

Why is there "brail" on the key pads of the drive thru ATM machines??????!!!!!!!! is the friggen driver sightless???? :lol: :shock: :?
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2015 Cruze Turbo Diesel/ Just replaced by the 2016 Sonic
'98 GMC 1/2 ton with corporate 3/4 ton driveline still makin' it all possible
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Re: Have you ever wondered?

Postby monzabug350 » Sun Mar 02, 2014 10:15 pm

Do people that work in sewer plants know their shit?
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