front porch

[rtm]

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

And God saw it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God, again saw it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.

[Monza Harry]

That is too true Rick I think that is HILARIOUS! The only part that is missing is the part where we get to do burnouts! Harry

[zeke]

Aha! It all makes sense now! Thanx rtm!

[NVEGAR8D]

Hi Harry, I think the burnouts were to be included in the first 20 yrs.
nick75vega

[monzabug350]

The first dealership I worked at had a mechanic that was 72 and got to prep all the Hemi cars we sold,and road tested them.He would do burn outs and tell me "gotta make sure the posi traction works,right?" I guess some of us never grow up.

[zeke]

I guess some of us never grow up.

[monzabug350]

Heay zeke..to quote Larry the cable guy...that thar is funny,dont care who ya ar !!!

[Sunula66]

Hey Zeke,
I haven't yet (and probably never will )
...not that long ago, me and a buddy were stumbling along too drunk to drive and changed a whole bunch of letters on a sign like that out front of a business...did you happen to see the other side of that sign?.. one of the new sentences might have used the word "free" in it...... just checking, like I said, not gonna grow old